• A Week in Kona by Roger Vaughan
• My Race by Jodie Barker

Tuesday, 11/10

About 1.30pm Hawaiian time, Kona airport. Man, it’s good to be back after nine years. On its final approach the plane swings over the lava fields and you think “it’s just so desolate”. The warm breeze gently slaps you on the face as you walk down the stairs onto the tarmac. You want to make like the Pope, bend down and kiss the asphalt. But besides looking like an idiot, I imagine asphalt doesn’t taste nice.

4pm (Kona): Parade of nations. Here we see Carmine Soriano, looking very lean and ready for yet more Hawaiian age-group heroics. It is a typically-strong Australian contingent – indeed, it emerges there are 123 Australians in the race, a Hawaiian record. For once, you don’t cringe when someone predictably screams out “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie”. Even though you’re just a hanger-on and you’re only walking in the parade to make sure you don’t lose sight of someone you’re meeting with later on, it’s kind of cool.

5pm: Ironman Village. Translation: tri-geek heaven. Here is where credit cards go to die. A vast array of tacky souvenirs, promotional booths and displays. There are bargains for the discerning tri-head, but generally the stuff is either free or pretty expensive. An immediate highlight is the Cannondale tent, which is providing free beer from a keg while people wait in line as Faris Al Sultan signs autographs. Yes, you read right – free beer. And it’s from the Kona Brewery, too – none of this Bud Light nonsense. I might just be in paradise.

8pm, dinner. Memo to Kona neophytes – Hawaiians operate in a parallel universe when it comes to service. My dinner at a very nice Thai restaurant on Alii Drive demonstrates the point perfectly. I wait at least an hour for my order, all the while being told “sir, your meal will be here very soon”. The Look Of Death from the age grouper sitting with his wife and young son on the adjoining table shows I am not Robinson Crusoe here. It quickly becomes apparent that there are too many people in Kona, even though the town has exploded in size over the last decade because of a real estate boom. They’re really nice, the locals, but more than one comments that the race is an imposition for them, not a highlight. Having said all that, the restaurant does a mean Pad Thai.

Wednesday, 12/10

This is a nominally a working holiday, so to work. After many phone calls and some truly-complicated directions from the snowed-under Ironman media director – which amazingly are spot-on - I cross paths with the legendary Michellie Jones, her husband Pete Coulson and her twin sister Gabi. Michellie looks very relaxed and is chipper as we have a gas-bag about life, the universe and why the hell she is going back on her word. Ms Jones is well-known for having been a spectator at Hawaii in ’96 and publicly declaring “there is no way I am going to do this – it’s insane”. Well, Michellie, welcome to the nuthouse. Our interview is outside a house at the top of a hill overlooking Kona Bay, where NBC is doing its pre-race over-production. The view is breath-taking. This joint is stark, but truly beautiful.

Thursday, 13/10

8am, Underpants Run. A Kona tradition, brought to you by noted triathlon coaches Roch Frey (husband of Heather Fuhr) and Paul Huddle (new husband of Paula Newby-Fraser, after a 20-year engagement). Designed to shame Iron-tourists (especially Germans) who insist in walking around town in speedos, sandals and nothing else (eeuooohhhh…..), it’s a one-mile jog through the middle of town. You can only wear undies for this. For some “strange” reason, there is an extremely strong Australian contingent among the 300 or so runners. The souvenir T-shirt for the run reads “I see London, I see France – No, it’s your underpants!”. A good laugh is had by all and the proceeds of the t-shirt sales go to West Hawaii Special Olympics. More than one female participant is spotted spending way too much time running behind German Jurgen Zack, well-known for owning one of the best bods in triathlon.  

9.30, bus ride into town: Here’s Jodie Barker, looking her normal happy self and thoroughly enjoying her Kona experience. We only have a brief chat, but it’s clear the nerves and excitement are kicking in. Kick arse, Jodie!

Noon, pre-race media conference. Kate Major, her fiancé Jeff and Greg Welch all make for handy chats as this little hack scribbles a few pithy notes and gets busy on the laptop for a race preview. A note for Bayside Iron-people – the media conference is also used to announce that Powerbar is taking over as the gel/bar/etc provider for all Ironman-licensed events worldwide. In other words, don’t expect to see any Gu at a race that features the M-dot. Much tub-thumping and earnest conversations among Iron-pundits after this announcement – is it good for the sport? What about the countries where you can’t access Powerbar stuff readily? Etc. Ah, we love a good goss, us tri-heads…..

Late afternoon: On the way back to the apartment, it becomes quickly apparent that my taxi driver is the angriest man in Hawaii – if not the world. His poor humour is undoubtedly fuelled by “all these $#%&-ing triathletes”, but it goes well beyond that. This guy, truly, is looking at a half-empty glass. A yahoo teenager on a skateboard comes careering down the wrong side of the road, just to add to the surreal air of this little journey, and our happy cabby wants to stop the taxi so he can punch the kid out. “I wish I had a bullwhip” is a memorable quote from a truly-disconcerting trip, but certainly not the only pearl of wisdom. Another fave was “if I stopped the taxi to catch that kid, would you help me kick the crap out of him!?” – yeah, sure spider!.

While certainly out of character (most locals I came across at Kona were fantastic), Happy Cabby did highlight a dark side to the town. There were several homeless people camped along the beach, just off Alii Drive, and apparently there are many more who leave when the Ironman is on. Iron-veterans were astonished to see prostitutes in a park near the middle of town (a first, apparently), but nothing could compare to The Gimp. Those of you who have seen Pulp Fiction will know what I’m talking about. This guy would only come out at night (gee, wonder why….) and his attire was as follows – black leather top to toe, capped off with a black leather face mask, complete with mouth zip (hence the nickname). Oh, yeah – there was a hole on the top of the mask so he could show off his long, blond ponytail. Classy look. Apparently this guy is totally harmless, but it’s fair to say he scared the living be-Jesus out of several pedestrians when he made his evening rounds.

Thursday night: After Happy Cabby, I need a drink. The esteemed and venerable organisation known as PIMPS (Professional Institute of Multisport Photographers and Scribes) meets at Bubba Gumps for its annual soiree. Screw the official carbo dinner, baby, this is where it’s at tonight in Kona. Half a dozen journos and snappers, including Delly Carr (officially, one of the world’s best people) ingest a mountain of saturated fat (truly, there is not a healthy item on the menu) and alcohol while swapping many tall stories. Here the service is actually not too bad and our waitress, the extroverted Anna, keeps us entertained with some surprisingly-handy attempts at mimicking our accents (Australians, a Scot and a Pom as well as a couple of Yanks).

Friday morning, the wee hours: From Bubba’s it’s a short stroll down Alii to Lulu’s, the party capital of the Hawaiian Ironman. For some reason, tonight it’s Australian Night at Lulu’s and the security staff are justifiably edgy. No atrocities to speak of, unless you want to bring up some of the moves I was trying to execute on the dance floor. Just before closing time, I am asked to take a photo of four friends. Within seconds, I am nursing half a dozen cameras as a large pyramid of very happy (read: one-more-MaiTai-and-I-will-burst) Australians are in the shot. I am still trying to work out how one woman managed to climb to the very top of the pile, at least eight feet off the ground, and not break a bone in the process. Ah, it makes you proud to be Australian….

Friday, 14/10

Amazingly, no hangover. At this point I alert you to a product called Nuun (check out www.nuun.com) – basically, a tablet containing electrolytes that you put in water. Apart from being very handy out on a long bike ride, if you have the faculties to end a big night by drinking a glass of this stuff, it is a guaranteed hangover retardant.

But I digress. It’s back into town for the final visit to the Ironman village before it is shut down at noon (race day is tomorrow). We bump into Carmine again and, it is fair to say, a Carmine Soriano the day before an Ironman, in a singlet, is an impressive sight. The word we’re looking for here is “ripped”.

A small Kona tip for the uninitiated – make sure you visit the village the day it shuts down. Actually, there’s a part two to this tip – bring a big bag. None of the exhibitors want to freight their stuff back home, so it’s giveaway city. The Gatorade tent today is particularly ridiculous. At one stage there’s half a dozen of us, standing around like piranhas, swiping schwag off their table. As fast as we grab stuff, the staff are putting more bottles and cans out. And they’re ENCOURAGING us to take more. If it arrives in Australia (and that’s always a big “if”) may I recommend the new Gatorade meal replacement drink. For those of you who’ve been around the sport for a while, this reminded me of the old Exceed cans. The Gatorade version tasted like a yummy strawberry thickshake.

Saturday, 15/10

The Big Dance.

By now, you’ve probably heard all the news out of Kona – Faris scores his first win, Natascha wins yet again, Michellie is awesome for second, Kate and Macca score the fastest run splits, Australians everywhere in the top 10s, Macca finally sorts out what is needed to do well in Hawaii, Carmine shows there is more to them muscles than just show by placing third in his age group, Jodie B also impresses.

If you make it to Hawaii (and you MUST go to Kona at least once, even as a spectator), make sure you spend some time on Palani Rd – it’s a little mongrel of an incline where Macca repeatedly blew up over the last few years. This year, he had a training camp in Kona a few weeks before the race and apparently did hill repeat after hill repeat up that road to exorcise his demons. Much respect.

I was very, very lucky to ride most of the bike course in the back of a spotter’s van (Chris Legh was in the front seat, radioing time checks back to ironmanlive.com). There was stuff-all wind this year, except up the top of the course, near the turnaround at Hawi. It felt eerily like the same conditions I encountered in ’96, the only other time I have been to the race – hot and still, taylor-made for a fast race. No doubt, should I ever be lucky enough to race at Kona, it will blow a gale. But that’s for somewhere down the track.

At midnight, there’s a vocal (no, really?!) group of Australians alongside the finish line as we reach the emotional end of a long, amazing day. I have somehow qualified as a VIP for the race this year (insert your smart-arse comments here….) and it all makes for an awesome sight as I sit in the bar overlooking the finish line. There are no taxis available (the taxi service in Kona is woeful, and that’s not even counting Mr Happy), so it’s a 35-minute walk home to complete a 22-hour day. Suffice to say, I sleep well that night.

Sunday, 16/10

A bit of a last-minute shopping before the Monday AM flight. There are some great bargains around town for the discerning tourist, but it’s worth doing your homework and keeping the exchange rate in mind. Some stuff, like Oakleys and Teva sandals, were great buys. But you’re much better off buying your DVDs at JB HiFi, while books varied in value. If you can swing it, it’s probably worth spending a day or two in Waikiki (which is on another island in the Hawaiian chain) for your hard-core touristy shopping.

As you walk along the side of the one of the highways to visit your next shopping mall, a strong headwind makes its presence felt. You immediately think “on such an exposed course, with this heat, that wind would be hell”. But what a place, what a race.

Oh, one more thing – Hawaiian Airlines is pretty good value for money, but Qantas has much better service and vastly-superior in-flight entertainment and food. In a perfect world, I reckon you fly over Hawaiian and come back on Qantas.

With any luck, I’m back there next year, baby!

MY RACE
by Jodie Barker

My race didn't go entirely to plan, but I am rapt to have finished the race.

My swim is a part of my race I would rather forget; let's just say I was in a kick boxing event and not a swim!! This affected me and I found it difficult to get in a rythmn.

I was very happy to get the the transition area and hop on my bike. Conditions were pretty good, not too windy (for most of the way) and quite warm and sunny (no cloud cover). I kept to my target heart rate zone for the entire bike leg (many athletes passed me in the first half of the bike leg, but I re-passed many of these people in the 2nd half). The only thing was the heat got to me, so it was a matter of keeping my head down, heart rate to plan and focusing on the road to the end of the bike leg.

With about 40km left of the bike leg, I started getting excited, closer to the marathon, and where the fun begins!

I felt great heading out on to the run, in fact so good that I was running under 7min miles for the first 3 miles (mmm a bit too quick), so dropped back my pace and kept to 8-9min miles. The first half of the run was amazing, so many Aussie spectators (a lot from ITU Worlds, families and friends); heaps more than last year. The 2nd half was then up to the Queen K Highway and out to the energy lab, the heat and sun were tough on the body out here, and I hit the wall at about 28km (approx 18miles). After some special minutes on the side of the road (throwing up), I was ready to conquer and finish the final 14km.

I was determined to cross the finishline, even though my goals for parts of the race were not achieved. I did have a 27min quicker bike time and 5 min quicker run time than last year at Hawaii, so good things did come out of my race.

Running down towards the finishline was spectacular, nearly like racing in Australia with all the Aussies cheering, and my mum and brother, Tom - thanks. The pain of the last 11 hours of racing seemed irrelevant and my legs were going to sprint to the line, mmmmm note to self - not a good idea, cos once accross the finishline, well that's another story!

Thanks for all the support and well wishes. I could not have gone through the last few months and years without it.

I am now a 2-time Hawaii World Ironman Triathlon Championships Finisher, and that feels really good (swim 1:17 - bike 5:56 - run 3:45).